the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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