How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
