Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
