Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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