I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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