I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
