I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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