How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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