Fuck appropriateness.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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