Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
