jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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