do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
