I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I love you. Go after that dick
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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