What a fucking waste of an outfit
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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