How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No stitches, just platelets and will power
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
