I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
