I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
