Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
