I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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