im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
