Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
