look no pants
ugly people sure do ruin things
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
