Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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