Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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