The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
