Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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  (205): what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/58rl
  Replies (38) Good night (799) Bad night (3031)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  was it more than 30 minutes?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  ya

  (519): View more from Ontario

  then you're in a relationship

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  (519): was it more than 30 minutes? (416): ya (519): then you're in a relationship http://tfl.nu/ie8p
  Replies (34) Good night (5043) Bad night (947)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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  (573): My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly. http://tfl.nu/go2x
  Replies (7) Good night (7209) Bad night (1085)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal

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  (240): today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal http://tfl.nu/c4vg
  Replies (21) Good night (8235) Bad night (1230)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.

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  (352): Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa. http://tfl.nu/e1sr
  Replies (26) Good night (6906) Bad night (1635)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there

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  (319): You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there http://tfl.nu/a5ka
  Replies (14) Good night (1295) Bad night (3153)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.

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  (469): She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker. http://tfl.nu/zanh
  Replies (8) Good night (1879) Bad night (662)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized

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  (847): Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized http://tfl.nu/hh8z
  Replies (16) Good night (2752) Bad night (721)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.

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  (336): Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom. http://tfl.nu/g9fv
  Replies (2) Good night (1302) Bad night (775)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe

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  (832): He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe http://tfl.nu/uw0b
  Replies (2) Good night (1228) Bad night (643)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.

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  (602): I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night. http://tfl.nu/7hpm
  Replies (5) Good night (1660) Bad night (747)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.

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  (206): Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats. http://tfl.nu/azi3
  Replies (12) Good night (533) Bad night (1008)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce

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  (847): I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce http://tfl.nu/nrhe
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (467)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'

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  (440): Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.' http://tfl.nu/rdeh
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (503)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY

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  (406): if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY http://tfl.nu/qo5y
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (341)

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