Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine