Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

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  (650): Not a fireman, but good enough for last night. http://tfl.nu/537l
  Replies (2) Good night (995) Bad night (508)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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  (586): theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/psvc
  Replies (12) Good night (1049) Bad night (7403)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers

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  (912): I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers http://tfl.nu/7qil
  Replies (16) Good night (4690) Bad night (800)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.

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  (501): i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever. http://tfl.nu/sfg3
  Replies (31) Good night (1424) Bad night (4234)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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  (630): hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister? http://tfl.nu/p7gf
  Replies (15) Good night (5285) Bad night (1711)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.

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  (507): That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form. http://tfl.nu/4aa9
  Replies (15) Good night (1173) Bad night (5213)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...

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  (801): He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay... http://tfl.nu/tir1
  Replies (20) Good night (1452) Bad night (4740)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...

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  (727): Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo... http://tfl.nu/pcov
  Replies (13) Good night (2800) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

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  (802): I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress' http://tfl.nu/zrhx
  Replies (4) Good night (1382) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.

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  (210): She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college. http://tfl.nu/uhbq
  Replies (4) Good night (2126) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic

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  (979): He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic http://tfl.nu/8ocy
  Replies (10) Good night (2532) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Challenge Accepted

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  (216): Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight (440): Challenge Accepted http://tfl.nu/bdzo
  Replies (11) Good night (2492) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups

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  (610): Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups http://tfl.nu/eisr
  Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.

  (831): View more from California

  Promise??

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  (916): I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird. (831): Promise?? http://tfl.nu/1nt5
  Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.

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  (402): The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself. http://tfl.nu/0xuv
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (350)

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