So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.