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• (571): View more from Virginia

  So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach

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• (858): View more from California

  Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Let go out that Thursday night!

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.

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