What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.