What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
