South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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