I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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