sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
