oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
