Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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