I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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