Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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