Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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