For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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