1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
