i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize