There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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