I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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