Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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