i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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