I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
