Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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