I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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