Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
