I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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