Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I will be naked everywhere
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
