Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
