Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
