so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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