How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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