is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
