Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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