I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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