my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
