Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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