I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize