Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize