i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize