If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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