Already got asked if we're dating
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
