her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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