So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dignity is for republicans.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
