We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
