every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
