I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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