My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Randomize
