Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
