worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize