So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I need moral support for this bender
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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