I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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