id be glad to
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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