see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
