laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
