he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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