69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
