Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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