WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
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your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
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Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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